Cessna goes for the jugular with new private jet ads

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Cessna are taking on the government with their new ad campaign according to the Wall Street Journal.

Their ads are going to say "Pity the poor executive who blinks," and gets rid of the company jet. "One thing is certain: true visionaries will continue to fly."

According to the WSJ:

Across the industry, new orders for private jets have almost evaporated, and hundreds of existing customers have sought to defer or cancel orders that were placed in higher-flying days. In addition to layoffs, some jet makers have cut production by as much as 56%. Cessna, a unit of Textron Inc., is laying off more than 4,600 people, or roughly a third of its work force, to cope with the sudden drop in demand for private airplanes of all sizes.

Most of this stems back from the time when the Big Three auto makers flew to Washington on their private jets to ask for government money. The backlash has been immense and lots of companies have downsized their jets as a result of the economic climate. Cessna thinks that by branding corporate executives as leaders rather than followers they will increase demand. "Timidity didn't get you this far. Why put it in your business plan now?" Instead of retreating, the company argues, companies should adjust and make sure they are flying the right type of aircraft.

Good luck to them. Here is the ad itself. Here is the microsite.

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Flying tip #6 - The Mayday Call

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Hopefully no-one will ever need to make a genuine mayday call during their flying career and indeed the large majority of pilots never do have to make one.

But if you did, are you aware that there is a right and wrong way to do this? It's the only instant fail part of the Radio Telephony licence under JAR rules so it's worth getting it right and remembering it.

The correct format can be remembered using the mnemonic NAAN IPPA:

MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY (yes, three times)
Name of station addressed
Aircraft callsign
Aircraft type
Nature of emergency
Intentions of pilot
Position (or last known psition): flight level/Altitude/Height; heading
Pilot Qualifications (No instrument qualifications: IMC rating etc.)
Any other useful information e.q. persons on board etc.

So as an example if you were Grumman 34 and you had experienced an engine failure you would say:

MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY Thruxton Radio this is Grumman 3, a Cessna 150 with total engine failure attempting forced landing at Bourne Park. Last known position 7 miles north of Andover; 1500 feet heading 200 degrees; PPL; 2 POB

The exact same mnemonic can be used for Urgency calls with the prefix 'PAN' (said 3 times). As an example, you are flying a Piper 28 call sign G-ARYI which experiences a rough running engine. You might call:

PAN PAN, PAN PAN, PAN PAN; Southampton Approach this is G-ARYI a PA-28 with a rough running engine, diverting to Thruxton airfield. Present position one mile north of Lymington, alitude 1500 feet heading 340; PPL; three POB.

Remember the ultimate difference between a Mayday and a Pan is that one is a distress call the other is an urgent situation.

Distress: The aircraft is threatened by serious and/or imminent danger and requires immediate assistance

Urgency: A condition concerning the safety of an aircraft or other vehicle, or of some person on board or in sight, but not requiring immediate attention

If you can't raise anyone on your radio use the International Aeronautical Emergency Frequency which is 121.5

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The 747 is 40 years old.

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(This post also appears on The Musings Cafe)

I first had the occasion to fly on a 747 back in 1977. My family had decided to emigrate to Australia and I had to go with them by virtue of the fact that I wasn't old enough to live on my own.

We arrived at Heathrow on a cold December morning to jump onto one of the state-of-the art Boeing 747-200's that Qantas ran. We were, of course, in economy/coach class for the flight which seemed to last for ever. In actual fact it was 8 hours to Bombay, a further 8 hours to Perth and another 4 or so hours to Sydney where we stayed for a couple of days.

I remember walking up and down the twin aisles of the plane amazed that such a huge thing could even move under it's own power let alone fly - and fly for so long. Having said that, this was my first flight and having nothing else to compare it with the bar was set fairly high to begin with.

The highlight of the flight was when I asked one of the cabin crew if I could go up to the cockpit and - somewhere between Bombay and Perth - is was allowed access to the inner sanctum. This was great for two reasons: 1) It was on the upper deck so I would have to climb the stairs and 2) I would have to go through First Class to get there. This was in the days when 747's still had a cocktail bar on the upper deck and not business or economy seating. It was also the time when the stairs to the upper deck were still circular.

I sat with the captain and his flight crew for about 30 minutes asking them about all the controls and getting them to demonstrate whatever they could. The Captain even turned the heading switch on the autopilot so that I could see how the plane turned by itself (Apparently my mother in the economy cabin muttered "I bet that's our Gary doing that...'). For a child it was magical.

I couldn't wait to get back on a plane. Unfortunately it wasn't something I wasn't able to do for a while after that, but I have made up for it since.

And now the 747 is 40 years old.

The initial flight of this 'Jumbo' jet took place in the skies above Everett, Washington 4 decades ago. The plane itself was built in a factory that had not even been completed when the first parts started arriving (and which is still the largest manufacturing building on the face of the planet). It was a plane of superlatives. The largest commercial plane ever built. The longest commercial plane ever built. The quietest plane ever built. With it's new turbofan engines it was smooth, fast and efficient (by those standards) and it even had an upper deck where the pilots sat. Airports had to be redesigned to handle them, new equipment had to be built to tow them and pilots needed additional training to deal with the fact that when the rears wheels touched down they were still over 90 feet off the ground! This thing had twice as many wheels in it's undercarriage as any other plane, for goodness sake.

It was truly the plane that ushered in the era of mass travel. Thanks to it's huge size, capacious cabin, and efficient engines it brought the price of long distance aviation down to the point where some airlines are offering free tickets on flights.

Since that initial flight I have flown many hundreds (almost thousands) of times. I am even now qualified to fly an airplane on my own (but not a 747), but the Jumbo is still my favourite plane and I have a number of special memories of that aircraft:

1) Sitting between the Captain and First Officer on the flight deck as we approached Sydney's Kingsford Smith airport at dusk. We approached over the water. It was light enough to see everything but dark enough that all the lights were on. Fabulous
2) Sitting at the back of a 747 on a return flight from Australia watching an old lady slowly negotiate her way down the aisle to the toilet only for the whole plane to drop suddenly in turbulence as soon as she locked the door and sat down. I swear she must have hit the ceiling
3) Being upgraded to seat A1 on a British Airways 747 shortly after they had recently upgraded all First Class to individual cabins. A fully flat bed, personal service and gourmet food on a 13 hour flight to Hong Kong. Luxury
4) Sitting upstairs in business class on a 747 right behind the cockpit bulkhead. As we stood at the end of the runway the pilot said "Ladies and gentlemen tonight's flight to Cape Town will take a little over 12 hours. Once we start rolling we will be on the runway for about a full minute before we lift off. Enjoy your flight". The plane started rolling. I timed the run. We rolled for exactly 58 seconds before the rear wheels lifted up. I shook my head in disbelief. The olderly lady seated next to me asked why. I told her "I've been flying for many years now and it never ceases to amaze me how 300 tons of metal fuel and cargo can fly. But then again as long as the Captain knows how it all happens we're fine". She looked at me and smiled "Oh, he knows how it all works" she said, "He's my husband"

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File this under "Aviation humour"

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The following is not what I originally intended this site to be used for, but when reading this in my inbox I was forced to laugh out loud.

Who really cares whether these are true or not, they're funny! If you want funny AND true - try Dave Gunsons "What goes up might come down"


The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world.


"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long take-off queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"


O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the Little Fokker in sight."

A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight.
While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for take-off."


A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able.
If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."


There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked."
Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked,
"The dreaded seven-engine approach."


Taxiing down the Tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What, exactly, was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant. "It took us a while to find a new pilot."


Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for take-off, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for take-off behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for take-off, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."


One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed.
The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger:
"I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."


The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.
So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, and I didn't land."


While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically:
"God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"
"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.
Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771.
Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"